yesterday, i had a really good day. i met this cool korean cellist/hagwon-owner on the train. then i explored the ewha women’s university area MOST BEAUTIFUL SCHOOL EVER on the most perfect weather day ever. i can’t remember being that happy since we had a sunken garden impromptu group lay-out LAST SPRING. i found great little artsy cute shops and got an awesome fancy tea. then i ate a fantastic CHEAP burrito from a taco stand(!?!?!). my work friend emily called and i met her in the foreigner district. i ended up going with her to her friend’s huge birthday party at a…mexican restaurant! they had a sweet mexican cover band that wore ponchos, black cowboy hats, and sang r.e.m. THEN we all bar-hopped together in the inexplicable post-sunny day rain and took cabs back to the university district. we went to a gross foreigner club and somewhere around the second or third bar is where everything started to turn for me.
i’ve been forcing myself to go out and meet people even when i don’t feel like it, and i think that had semi-disastrous results on my emotions last night. in a sea of tall, thin girls with long platinum hair and boobs hangin out, it’s like i don’t exist. i’m not looking for a soulmate or anything, but when boys talked to me, it was mostly to talk about other girls. why do i look like your advice-giving buddy!? i only do that for will! “ah, man, i met this girl hannah, but i think she’s still at the last club. she was so cute. what am i gonna do!?” ….uh, go back to that club, stop complaining, and get out of my life. i ended up talking to this korean guy and totally out of nowhere, he’s like, “you know, most korean guys like long hair, like that *points to a gorgeous girl*” oh, REALLY? i had no idea, i better start growing out my disgusting man hair! thanks for the tip! then my favorite bag (from my mom and from america) broke and got stepped on and muddy. at this point it was pouring down rain, no one wanted to leave yet, so i walked by myself through the rain for blocks and blocks trying to find a cab at 5 am. in the cab, i started crying a little because i was feeling so sorry for myself and the driver kept asking me really long questions in korean and ended up charging like $20, which was a total rip-off for the time it took.
ok, i want to just rant a little more about the hair thing. i understand that having short hair serves as a kind of boy repellant. but it wasn’t always so. remember your young adulthood in the 20s!? anyone? anyone? oh, you’re dead now? woops. these boys today can’t think outside the box. and them advising me to grow out my hair is so insanely insulting and rude. this has happened to me several times and makes me want to punch someone in the head. first of all, it’s my decision and i happen to really like my short hair. second of all, when i did cave to social pressures and try to grow it out, i hated the process and it started getting stringy and thin-looking and gross anyway. third, you’re ridiculous, unattractive, and why don’t you go find some bitchy girl who can tell you all that’s wrong with YOU, counting all the ways you don’t fit the exact form for male attractiveness. i’m a nice girl, i’m a smiley girl, i’m pleasant to you because you’re a stranger, but don’t MESS WITH ME ABOUT MY HAIR!!!
